Where is my Boaz?!

I’m sure every woman has asked themselves this question “where is my Boaz?” I’ve probably asked myself this question at least a thousand times. I found myself reading the story of Ruth and Boaz over and over praying that God would send me my Boaz. I mean, I was being obedient to God, and doing everything that a Christian woman was suppose to do. God was blessing me but not in the way in which I thought He should. I was 22 and felt that I needed to be in a relationship. I felt that my next blessing had to come in the form of a man or else. But God didn’t send to me Boaz. Instead He sent me “cardboard copies” of men who claimed to be after God’s own heart and weren’t. If I hadn’t been in God’s good grace I would probably be writing something totally different opposite than what I am today. These men did not have the characteristics of Boaz. They were pretenders. They were definitely not the type of men I had prayed to God for. So I asked God again, “where is my Boaz?”

My answer came in the way in which I never thought it would. I was reading and meditating on the word of God one day and God spoke to me and said, “I am your Boaz.” I was shocked! I found myself in tears. I wanted to be in a relationship and God was simply saying I am the only man you need. I realized then that my ways are not His ways and my thoughts are not His thoughts. I became so focused in praying to God for my Boaz that I had lost sight of the real man in my life and that was God!! A man was only going to temporarily fulfill my “fleshly needs” (whatever that could have been) and God didn’t want me to be caught up in that type of sinful nature. With this I learned to be content in my singleness.

God has a plan for each and every one of our lives. You may find yourself praying to God for numerous things and have yet to receive what you’ve been praying for. But what I’ve learned is that if we keep our focus solely on God, everything that we are seeking will be found in Him. This may be hard for you to accept; as it was for me. But once I allowed God to take full control of my life, I no longer looked for Boaz. Everything I wanted and needed was found in God alone. I no longer pray to God for my Boaz but instead I seek God’s face. I pray that God will continue to mold you into what He has you to be. I don’t know when my Boaz or your Boaz will show up but it’s good to know that our spiritual Boaz (God) is far greater than any man, or any woman could ever be. That’s good news! Be blessed and encouraged!

Signed,
A Woman In Waiting

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God’s Will

My Will
Waiting has not always been easy. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve always longed to be in a relationship. Even if he didn’t meet my criteria I was perfectly ok with that; I just wanted to be in a relationship. I wanted to know what it felt like to be loved from someone aside from my family. I wanted to be in a relationship because every other girl was in one. It seemed enjoyable. It seemed fulfilling. So I just had to get me a man. I was never the one to go search for a man. I felt if he liked me enough he would approach me. Every guy who approached me was either a baby daddy, unemployed, uneducated, or wanting his fleshly needs met. I had to cut them off immediately. I mean why play around with a snake if you know you’ll end up getting bit. So I had to put matters into my own hands. I went looking for a man. I know what you’re saying; but a woman is suppose to wait for the man right? I know, I know, but I became impatient and I got tired of waiting. Needless to say, I failed. There were some nice guys available. They seemed to have it “going on” as we say. The Christian men were right up my alley. They seemed to be a perfect fit for me. At least that’s what it seemed. But everything that glitters ain’t gold. None of this felt right. The fact that I became desperate for a man felt awkward and wrong. What on earth was I doing making plans for myself? What type of woman was I? I was familiar with the Bible stories of Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah, and how Boaz found Ruth; but it seemed as though they became pointless to me. Proverbs 31 was no where on my lips or written in my heart during this time. I wanted to be in a relationship no matter the cost. I was not performing as a virtuous woman should be. I wanted my will to be done and that’s all that mattered. I had totally forgot about waiting.

God’s Way…
I failed at the task that I had made for myself. I went seeking for a man without acknowledging God. The Bible says, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33) I was not seeking the will of God but my own will. I thought that the reason I failed was because I was too tall, too Christian, not pretty enough, or that I wasn’t willing to fulfill their sexual desires. I can make all those excuses but the true reason was because I tried to defy God’s will and purpose for my life. He had a greater plan for me but I was so blind. I was blind to God’s will. I couldn’t see any other way but my own and I found myself in a ditch. I became selfish and self- seeking, so much so that I forgot all about God’s will and His way. Doing things my way didn’t get me anywhere. I wanted so badly to be in a relationship. I could have hooked up with any guy and forced myself to be in a relationship. But somehow it didn’t work that way. I believe God was protecting me and keeping me. I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship no matter how hard I tried. It wasn’t God’s will for me. God had a purpose and blessing for me but first I had to ignore my own will, deny myself, and follow God. It was at this moment that I understood what it meant to be a woman in waiting.

Encouragement
As men and women of God, we feel that we deserve a wife or husband. That’s true. We deserve all that God has promised to as we remain obedient to Him. What we have to understand is that God’s timing is not our timing. We have to continue to seek God’s face and not our own fleshly desires. Sometimes we can get so caught up in doing our own will that it blocks God’s will from occurring in our life. No matter how hard we try to make our plans work, every detail of our life is already predestined by God. Patience is a virtue and with patience comes a process of waiting. If you’re able to be content in your moment of singleness, God will show you that most things are worth the wait.

Signed,
A Woman In Waiting

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Simply Waiting

Dreams
Every young girl grows up planning her wedding. We don’t realize this until we are old enough to understand but from the time we are born until the time we say “I do” we have secretly planned our special day. We dream of the day when our prince asks us for our hand in marriage. We grow up reading books about our Knight and Shining Armor, about the prince and his princess, and how they live happily ever after. Then somehow we grow older and reality sits in. We find ourselves in a dilemma. Our dreams have yet to come true. Our Prince Charming has yet to present himself to us. And it seems that everyone else is married but you. You find yourself waiting.

Reality
I’ll be the first to admit that this is my story. Since I could remember I’ve always dreamed of the day that I meet my prince. Like any other little girl I prayed that one day I’d be a beautiful princess with my prince by my side. Little did I know that I had to one day grow up and face reality. This reality became more evident when I went to college. There were so many “Prince Charming” men available. I thought that the only thing I had to do was pick one and then I could live my dream, I could live happily ever after right? I was wrong. These men didn’t have anything to offer me but small talk, baggy jeans, and testosterone issues. Don’t get me wrong there were a lot of single educated young men out there but they didn’t “measure up” to what I wanted (stay tuned for that blog). I begin to self prophecy that if I wasn’t married or engaged by the age of 24, I would be content with living the rest of my life with a few cats and dogs. I was no longer going to wait for my prince. If he wasn’t coming now then I was ok with him not coming at all. I would officially be done waiting.

Present
Well I just turned 25 and I am neither engaged or married. No, my Prince hasn’t found me yet or let’s just say I’ve stopped expecting him. One thing I’ve learned while being “a woman in waiting” is that my entire life is predestined by God. I can try and make things happen on my own but if it ain’t Gods will then I shouldn’t try to make it my plan. What God has for me it’s for me. I can’t take ideas from the world and try to implement them into my life because I don’t know how they got to where they are. I use to dislike young couples who were either engaged or married. I felt like that should be me. Why not me Lord? But once I became intimate with Christ I found myself longing for Him more than anything else. See once we know who God is then we won’t ever have to question the life he has for us.

Encouragement
This waiting period is a blessing because it allows you to find out who you are as a person and most of all who you are in Christ Jesus. Who knows, while you’re waiting God may send you your prince. Just like Boaz and Ruth. While you’re waiting keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. Maya Angelou said it best, “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.” Keep waiting, you haven’t lost your glass slipper for nothing.

Signed,
A Woman in Waiting

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Dear God…

Silly me.

I sat down one day to write a poem about God. This task wasn’t an easy one. I knew my title but I didn’t have the words to say. My mind was blank as I didn’t know what to write down
on the paper that seemed to be so
naked in front of me. Dear God…

I begin to realize that it was my title that was given me such a hard time. I mean how can you write the title of a poem before the poem is even written?! Then it dawned on me that my topic was so broad that it could neither have a beginning or an ending. Dear God…

So I turned my poem into a letter. I wrote to God as if He was my friend. I wrote to Him about my past and the life that I had lived. I wrote about my trials and tribulations. My ups and my downs. I told Him everything I could, making sure not to leave anything out. I signed my name on the bottom line, folded it and placed it on my bed.

I wondered if God would read it word for word? Did He know all about my problems. I addressed the letter directly to Him so He had to understand. He had to hear my cry.

But the truth is that God hears us at our weakest moments. He knows all about what we are going through and what we will go through in this life. My letter was a bit dramatic. I mean who was I to sit down and write to God about every detail of my life…as if He didn’t already know about it. I mean did I forget that in my darkest even in my blessed moments I have direct access to the Father. No need to take a pen and write word for word. No need to shed tears because of the hurt. God knows and he cares. Cast your cares on Him for He cares for you.

My letter was worthless because God already knew. He knew about it all. So I no longer write to God anymore. Instead I fall down on bended knee day after day and pray to God. He always answers. Not when I want Him to but according to His time. Every night I pray I make sure to get his attention though. I start every prayer off with….”Dear God”

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